The blog entry in which I pee in a cup

One 15 minute walk in subzero temperatures from my apartment and I'm at the hospital again. Kathy hands me bag full of neatly labelled vials and sends me down to Suite A for a blood draw. Lot of test tubes in that bag, bad news.

Haven't gone faint in a while but it's happened a couple times. You become aware of the symptoms coming on a little at a time. Vision becomes clouded, Body temperature goes through the roof and then you want to pass out. At the end of it you get a quick cookie and juice break with the nurse. 

Not sure on the trigger to all this but I suspect a longstanding distrust of the circulatory system. Lucky for me, I only have direct experience every three months and I have formed a very successful strategy. Don't look at the actions and concentrate hard on the end theme to pokemon, AKA The Pokerap

"Ok, you're going to feel a little poke"

Articuno, Jynx, Nidorino, Beedrill, Haunter, Chansey, POKEMON!

Is it hot in here? Why am I always wearing a sweater when I do this? ugh.

Dratini, Growlithe, Mr. Mime, Cubone, Graveler, Voltorb, Gloom - We're almost home!

Is that the last vial? I think that's the last vial. erf, Pokemon!

Charmeleon, Wartortle, Mewtwo, Tentacruel, Aerodactyl,Omanyte, Slowpoke, Pidgeot, Arbok - That's all, folks!

"Alright, thats all. You're bringing these back to the lab right?" She's covering up the dermatology vial labels with her own labels. "They just rip these off don't though?"

"I'm not sure about that" I'm almost positive they do.

I walk down the hospital hallways holding half a dozen test-tubes of my own blood. I ring the bell and Kathy hands me the mental wellness survey and takes my blood. As I fill out the guy next to me is making comments.

"'Have I recently tried to commit suicide?' Ha! I think I'll be fine, I just want them to get rid of these spots!

Kathy comes back out and hands me small cup and doesn't say anything, I know the drill. After a trip to the bathroom I ring the bell again to let Kathy know I'm back. The guy is still making comments.

"'Have you recently tried to gather the means to commit suicide?' It's not that big of a deal, it's just some spots!"

I fake a laugh and nod, standing by the door holding a jar of my own urine.

Kathy comes back out and leads me down to the exam room. She leaves and the doctor comes in a few minutes. He comes in exuding enthusiasm and usually refers to me as "bro" or "my man." He asks if I've ever been diagnosed Rheumatoid Arthritis in the last 3 months.

"Uhhh, nope"

"Awesome, my man!" He goes for the fist bump and I'm happy to oblige.

After a couple more routine tests he leaves and I go pick up my medicine from Kathy and schedule my next appointment in another 3 months time.

After all that I'm thirty bucks richer. 8pm the next day I stick a needle in my abdomen and get to live my life without being eternally itchy.

Best Album Ever? Round 1.2

Yeah yeah, so much for "weekly." Aside from being busy I don't have a ton to say about some of these early round match-ups. As a result I hit some bad writer's block during the limited time I had. What I'm going to do instead of going deep into each album is glaze over some of the less interesting ones and give a little musical bonus content instead. Today after the album round-up I'll be writing about my top 10 favorite 90's country songs, Yeehaw!

Match 1.5
Winner: Ok Computer - Radiohead
Defeated Different Class - Pulp
Favorite Song: Common People https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTMWgOduFM
Best Lyrics:
"'I want to sleep with common people like you.'
Well what else could I do - I said 'I'll see what I can do.' " - Common People


Why This Album?
Different Class was released right in the middle of the Britpop movement surrounded by Oasis, Blur and The Stone Roses. Common People frequently features on best track lists and certainly deserves to be there. It didn't really get any stateside play until William Shatner covered it in 2004. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ainyK6fXku0) British publications also frequently place it on greatest album ever lists. Interesting how an album can be so popular in one country and hardly make an impact in another that doesn't even have a language barrier to overcome.

It's a clever album with a sense of humor with some good one liners like "If fashion is your trade then when you're naked I guess you must be unemployed yeah. " A lot of the album is self deprecating but isn't the sort of pity party you end up with with a lot of bands. "Disco 2000" is about not getting the girl in the end but still manages to finish on a positive note.

Why did it lose?
Some Skippable tracks are scattered throughout the album. "I Spy" never quite did it for me. Also I'd like a few more out of the park songs besides "Common People"


Match 1.6
Winner: Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain - PAvement
Defeated Speakerboxxx/The Love Below - Outkast
Favorite Song: Hey Ya https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTMWgOduFM
Best Lyrics:
"'I mean I’m not being picky
She don’t even have to a big ol’ ass you know
Just something well proportioned to her body " - God - Interlude


Why this album?
It's wonderfully weird album from dirty south duo Outkast. Speakerboxxx was Big Boi's project and The Love Below was Andre 3000's. Speakerboxxx sounds more like what you would expect from hip hop of the era and Love Below takes a few more risks and has much more of a pop sound.

Why did it lose?
Second half of Speakerboxxx can be a little slow


Match 1.7
Winner: The Queen is Dead - The Smiths
Defeated: Hissing Fauna Are You the Destroyer? - Of Montreal
Favorite Song: The Past is a Grotesque Animal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3RAI8Ntamw
Best Lyrics:
"I'm flunking out, I'm flunking out
I'm gone, I'm just gone
But at least I author my own disaster" - The Past is a Grotesque Animal


Why this album?
It's bizarre and cool in a way only Of Montreal can really be. Lot's of excellent tracks, particularly towards the end. The Past is a Grotesque Animal is also one of my favorite songs every and carries the album far.

Why did it lose?
There's a lot of gems here but they aren't all quite as special as The Past is a Grotesque Animal


Match 1.8
Winner: Tallahassee - The Mountain Goats
Defeated: After The Gold Rush - Neil Young
Favorite Song: Tell Me Why www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgxI3PT9IN8
Best Lyrics: Can't say I really have a standout line for here.


Why this album?
It really is a timeless classic and for good reason. I especially like how the melody always seems to take turns you don't quite expect. There's a great example of this right at the start of Tell Me Why when Neil sings "Broken Harbors" Good guitar bits and interesting lyrics. As you probably know, this album contains the track "Southern Man" which caused Lynyrd Skynyrd to respond with "I hope Neil Young will remember// a southern man don't need him around anyhow." in Sweet Home Alabama.

Why did it lose?
I'm willing to admit Gold Rush is probably an objectively better album. Tallahassee always hit me in a way After The Gold Rush just hasn't.


Match 1.9
Winner: This is Happening - LCD Soundsystem
Defeated: Thriller - MJ
Favorite Song: Thriller www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA
Best Lyrics: The entire Vincent Price voiceover in Thriller


Why this album?
The king of pop's greatest work. This album is just hit after hit through and through. If you transplanted any song on Thriller to another artists album, save perhaps Human Nature and The Lady in My Life, then that would be your single. Even in the midst of a cavalcade of hits MJ somehow manages to make two outstanding stand-out songs in Billy Jean and Thriller. It's pure pop and it's fantastic

Why did it lose?
Tough competition, random seeding strikes again. Being pure pop, I can only listen so much before I start wanting to listen to something with a little more substance.


Match 1.10
Winner: Midnight Organ Fight - Frightened Rabbit
Defeated: I See a Darkness - Bonnie Prince Billy
Favorite Song: I see a Darkness (Upbeat version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iV4NwSbscg
I played that version about 10 times in a row so give it a listen.
Here's the album version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAriDxTeed8
Best Lyrics: "And did you know how much I love you" - I see a Darkness
Full Album: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOWMvELMKeo

Why this album?
This album is always the one I play in the car and say to myself "Everyone of these songs are good! Why don't I listen to this more?" I'm not really sure about the answer to that question. Fantastic album through and through.

Why did it lose?
competition


Match 1.11
Winner: Blueberry Boat - Fiery Furnaces
Defeated: Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Favorite Song: White Winter Hymnal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrQRS40OKNE
Best Lyrics: Some folksy BS


Why this album?
I remember waiting for Fleet Foxes to come on stage at pitchfork festival with low expectations. Obviously no one could really harmonize with such ease like that live. Well I was completely wrong about that. It was perfect album quality that they belted out and that just added that much more to the magic of this album for me. It's melodious and downright gorgeous.

Why did it lose?
Blueberry Boat is an epic


Match 1.12
Winner: Permission to Land - The Darkness
Defeated: Forever Changes - Love
Favorite Song: maybe the people would be the times or between clark and hilldale https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkbVosJFkpg
Best Lyrics:
"They're locking them up today
They're throwing away the key
I wonder who it'll be tomorrow, you or me?" - The Red Telephone


Why this album?
This is a relative new comer to this list. To be honest I was staring at the The Doors - The Doors and it was kind of annoying me that it was on the list. Love and The Doors are two LA bands from the 60's and the more I listen to Forever Changes the more it supplants The Doors for me. It's beautifully composed album with lyrics filled with a paranoia characteristic of the times. They still rings frighteningly true today.

Why did it lose?
Recent quote from Ian: "It's comforting to know I can always drink a few beers and listen to The Darkness and feel good about everything." Forever Changes is probably objectionably better. I still need a few years for it to sink in.


Match 1.13
Winner: Tea For The Tillerman - Cat Stevens
Defeated: She's So Unusual - Cyndi Lauper
Favorite Song: Time After Time www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdQY7BusJNU
Best Lyrics:
"If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time" - Time After Time


Why this album?
Much like Thriller, we have another pure pop album. It doesn't quite have the constant hits but what it does have is Time After Time which is still one of my favorite songs. Cyndi has her heart on her sleeve throughout the album and it really makes us root for her. Girls just want to Have Fun is another interesting point of the album. Difficult for dudes to enjoy this song in public but it's pretty damn good pop.

Why did it lose?
She Bop just doesn't do it for me.


Match 1.14
Winner: Plastic Ono Band - John Lennon
Defeated: Purple Rain - Prince
Favorite Song: Purple Rain http://www.myvideo.de/watch/6729113/Prince_Purple_Rain
Best Lyrics:
"Tell me, are we gonna let the elevator bring us down
Oh, no let's go!" - Let's go crazy


Why this album?
I must be at the coca-cola factory with all this pop - yukyukyuk! I'm actually far less familiar with this album than Prince's Best Of, but that was a no deal for this. Regardless, Purple Rain pretty much fills up that best of. On top of that Purple Rain the song is such a kock out hit you could surround with pretty much anything and still have a great album.

Why did it lose?
Competition


Match 1.15
Winner: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy - Kanye West
Defeated: If You're Feeling Sinister - Belle & Sebastian
Favorite Song: Like Dylan in the Movies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSX73YsJrqc
Best Lyrics:
"We're seeing other people
At least that's what we say we are doing" - Seeing Other People


Why this album?
Consistency isn't a very interesting quality but it does make for great records. If You're Feeling Sinister is pretty great all the way through. Any time I listen to this song I find a new song that I feel an affinity for and that feeling of constant discovery really pushes this album for me.

Why did it lose?
Lack of a knock out of the park song


Match 1.16
Winner: Hospice - Antlers
Defeated: Since I Left You - Avalanches
Favorite Song: Since I Left you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3YR-RKrL1g
Best Lyrics: "The man with the golden eyeball!" - Frontier Psychiatrist
Full Album: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRM1S6Jno8A

Why this album?
I wont pretend to be an expert on the history of electronic music but this album always felt like a pioneer to me. It was one of the first time I really found myself thinking that maybe electronic music could be something more than mindless dance and pounding bass. This is a great album for doing work. It fits well in the background and every time you pull out of the work zone you notice how something great is happening on the album.

Why did it lose?
Hospice gives me the feels


TOP 10 90's Country songs
So pretty much the same rules apply here, no repeat artists. 90's country styles are also a bit outrageous so I'm giving a 90's vs. now picture comparison of the artist for some of the goofier ones. Generally all the artists went from kinda weird looking to models. Kind of interesting to think how probably a lot of that comes from country coming more and more pop.
I also want to give a quick honorable mention Forever and Ever, Amen - Randy Travis. This list is really a reflection of the country music I grew up with and Forever and Ever, Amen fits that bill and is a real pretty song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgJXbIP83A8

10. Jacob's Ladder - Mark Willis
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzp_gyPWb0w
Mark Willis now: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Markalbum3.jpg
Mark Willis then: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Markalbum1.jpg

This song is just a sweet ditty about true love and eloping. A classic quality of a country song is telling a story and I think Jacob's Ladder does a great job of that. I really like how the chorus comes full circle. The melodies are catchy and fit the tone of the song perfectly. It's super genuine and great feel good song.

9. When you say nothing at all - Alison Krauss
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SCOimBo5tg

She's a great vocal talent. I wonder if she speaks that high all the time. Again we have another sugary song that feels very genuine. It makes it tough to judge it. I can't listen to this song that often but I always like it when I catch it.

8. She Don't know she's beautiful - Sammy Kershaw
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTXXchDKKfw

Okay I promise they're not all saccharine love songs but this one is. I like the tune and the lyrics are pleasant too. IT's just a good listen.

7. A Thousand Miles from Nowhere - Dwight Yoakam
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUyid7OImrg
Dwight then: http://www.imheavyduty.com/2006/03/04/dwight-yoakam-hillbilly-deluxe/
Dwight now: http://thefilmstage.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/dwight-yoakam-14934.jpg (Well that explains the hat…)

I really like the lyrics on this one. It's nothing but a simple cowboy song. What makes it perfect is that he doesn't get into his troubles or heartaches and that keeps it general and relatable. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find the acoustic version. I do think it's that much better.

6. Where the Green Grass Grows
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aENJoceTXA
Tim now: http://blog.beaumontenterprise.com/cat5/files/2013/06/timmcgraw13_h.jpg
Tim then: http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/tasteofcountry.com/files/2013/05/Tim-McGraw-Pre-Law.jpg

The ol' Cowboy in the city. It's a cliche but I feel it's done really well here. Tim manages to capture that feeling of being alone despite being surrounded by people. Lots of good lyrics littered about that set that lonely tone well such as "Another supper from a sack. A 99 cent heart attack." and "There's bars on the corner and bars on my heart." It's an interesting song of hope because you don't know if he actually accomplished his dream of living in the country.

5. Some Girls do - Sawyer Brown
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncLZD4KFUD4 (video HIGHLY recommended)
Sawyer Now: http://www.kokosuniverse.com/pics/y2013/concert_pics_2013/24august/sawyer_brown_au_00.jpg
Sawyer Then: http://www.kokosuniverse.com/pics/y1996/Album10.jpg

How fun is this song? I can't listen to this without a smile crossing my face. It's cheeky, goofy and up tempo.

4. Should've been a cowboy - Toby Keith
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Zquk_DExKo
Keith now: http://aattp.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/tobyKeithAmericanRide.jpg ('MURICA)
Keith then: http://tobykeith.com/bin/galImg/siteFiles/361433d483. (By FAR my favorite)

I'm with you Toby. I think we all have moments when we think we should've been a "cowboy." Doing something adventurous, seeking lots out fun and having little responsibility. It's not really a practical daydream but it;s fun to think about. I think Toby nails it with the tone and melody. The gunsmoke reference is priceless too.

3. Gone Country - Alan Jackson
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=si-ja75bFvI
Alan now: http://dailyinsider.info/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/lg_AllanJackson.jpg
Alan then: http://i37.servimg.com/u/f37/15/37/42/26/alanja11.jpg

Is that a hint of cynicism I hear Alan? Definitely, and it makes Gone Country stick out in a sea of sincerity. Funny to hear a country star essentially bashing on poseurs but he was pretty much spot on. Country music was a great cash in and it really shows today with the line between pop and country blurred to the point of invisibility.

2. A Fine Line - Radney Foster
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9Tksj9OLHY (Could not fine the excellent remake unfortunately)

I've been harping on this for years but Radney Foster is a great artist. The Album this song is on made it onto the album bracket as well and really song on that album is a hit. I've already talked about Old Silver so I figured I could give a few words about this song instead. A Fine Line tells an interesting and heartbreaking story. What I like most about it is that cheating is not a subject that you'd normally see from the cheaters perspective. The people in the song sound like real people too, not just one dimensional characters. And all we really know about what happens is that "No one's getting out without a broken heart"

1. The Dance - Garth Brooks
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7FRbeaXjvk

And here's what country is all about. We got a real song about love and heartbreak. I can't say enough good things about the message of no regrets in this song. Normally orchestration like this would be too much but in The Dance it comes together perfectly. Garth gives a great performance of a great song

Best Album Ever? Round 1.1

Match 1.1

Winner: Who's Next - The Who

Defeated: English Settlement - XTC

Favorite Song: Runaways https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gQo_lXw2zg

Best Lyric:

"Her little tune is such a happy song

Her son is innocent, he can't do wrong

'Cause dad's a judge and knows exactly what the job of judging's all about

And all the while Graham slept on

Dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to" 

- No Thugs in Our House

Why this album?

Well we're certainly not starting off with an easy one. English Settlement has more great songs on it then some artists write in their career. It plays like a greatest hits album, especially at the start where the first 5 songs could all easily be singles. The tunes are instantly likable with catchy melodies and a very upbeat sound. Worth noting that this is an album that came out in the early eighties but sounds about 10-20 years ahead of that time. I like how there's some 80's music technologies mixed in but it's very subtle and not overdone as many artists of that decade tended to do. Guitars, drums, bass and vocals, effects only when appropriate.

With the way the songs sound you'd expect the lyrics would be a little simple because the songs would be good even if he was just saying nonsense. But of course that's not the case and the songs on this album hold many interesting themes such as feminism, gun control and the cost of progress. English Settlement is a fantastic example of lyrics being the icing on the cake. It would be a great album even if he was just saying goofy nonsensical things but the deeper meanings push it to fantastic. 

Why did it lose?

Who's Next is tough to beat and just has a little more magic to it.

Match 1.2

Winner: Astral Weeks - Van Morrison

Defeated: Pinkerton - Weezer

Favorite Song: El Scorcho https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJghf2OcW1s

Best Lyric:

"I asked you to go to the Green Day concert. You said you never heard of them. How cool is that?!" 

- El Scorcho

Why this album?

My friend Nate Yeske got married back in 2012 and part of his reception included roughly 6-8 guys awkwardly shuffling around on the dancefloor while El Scorcho played. This was because it played every week multiple times a week whenever hearts or poker was played in my basement. The album is really that good it can be played practically on repeat and not get tiresome. It's great piece of garage rock that doesn't try to be anything more than it is and that's why it's great. It's one of the most sincere albums around. Rivers Cuomo puts everything out there for the listener to take in. There is little in the way of complex metaphors or such, just pure and simple emotion.

It's strange to think about the fact that Weezer put out 2 amazing albums at the start of their career and haven't come close to them since. I have to wonder what exactly what was lost along the way. If I had to make a stab I would say it's more that Weezer never gained anything. The new tunes are either poor replications of their early work or hollow good times songs. It's like they're stuck in perpetual emotional puberty and it's just not that much fun to follow a character that never matures.

Why did it lose?

Astral Weeks is a bit more musical. Also Falling For You is totally skippable.

Match 1.3

Winner: Odelay - Beck

Defeated: Joshua Tree - U2

Favorite Song: With or Without You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmSdTa9kaiQ (Jesus, I may have to revise that if I keep watching this music video)

Best Lyric: "I'm hangin' on

You're all that's left to hold on to"

-Red Hill Mining Town

Why this album?

Poor U2 got a bad rap during our generation. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb came out during out in 2004 and was purely awful. On top of that Vertigo received extensive radio play and every time Bono counted "1, 2, 3, 14!" every high school spanish 101 student got to take the Mickey out of him. Long before that record was released U2 put out the classic Joshua Tree and much of our generation will dismiss it out of hand and have every right to do so.

They will however be missing out on an album that is very solid. One of the best qualities of Joshua Tree is that it's good from start to finish. The lyrics can be a little preachy at times notch but there's good imagery and messages. I especially like the flirtations with religious themes.

Why did it lose?

I'm happy to defend U2, but not that much.

Match 1.4 

Winner: By The Way - RHCP

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness - Smashing Pumpkins

Favorite Song: 1979 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aeETEoNfOg 

Best Lyrics: "DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAGE"

-Bullet With Butterfly Wings

Why this album?

And we're ending on another tough choice. The pumpkins wrote an album here that doesn't slow down and is good through and through. That said I always felt this was an album best listened to in chunks. If I ever try to through the whole damn thing at once it ends up as background music as I pay attention to whatever else I'm doing. Doing that is doing the album a disservice as there are tracks throughout the record that demand to be savored. Just listening to the album for this post I rediscovered Galapagos and I've probably played it more than 5 times a days for the past week.

Why did it lose?

"Anybody that comes back with a double album, to me, needs to pry themselves out of their own asshole. This is not the '70s, okay? Go and ask Billy Corgan about a double album. Who has the fucking time, in 2013, to sit through 45 minutes of a single album? How arrogant are these people to think that you've got an hour and a half to listen to a fucking record?"

- Noel Gallagher

"Out on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins

Nature kids, they don't have no function

I don't understand what they mean

And I could really give a fuck"

-Pavement

Well this has been way more difficult than I remember. I forgot how much this is like picking between children. Definitely requires more time than doing individual songs as well. That said I'm going to try and continue having an update once a week.

Updated bracket: http://www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=451599&tclass=Best%20Albums%20Ever%3F

Best Albums Ever?

We are approaching March at a rapid rate and to make sure we have an adequate amount of MaDnEsS I thought I'd do another music bracket. This time I'll be trying to determine the best album ever!

DA RULES
1. No artist may have more than 1 album on the list
2. Immediately before judgement, I must listen to both albums start to finish at least once
3. Like the BSE, the losing album gets a write-up
4. Starting with 64 albums for my own sanity
5. No Greatest Hits, live albums or other compilations (Sorry Legend - Bob Marley)
6. Given enough interest, once we get down to 16 albums I'm going to open up predictions with the winner getting some kind of prize.

Here's the bracket with the starting 64:
http://www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=451599&tclass=Best%20Albums%20Ever%3F

Mostly I looked for albums that are great through and through with little filler. Albums with one bad song tended to get cut, even if the rest of album was great. It's definitely skewed towards modern albums but I can only do so much in that regards. Some older music is underrepresented since I would listen to a lot of Greatest Hits albums when I was playing catch-up for an artist. For example, there is no Rolling Stones album present since I just listened the crap out of 40 licks.

It's Damn fun to be doing this again. I'm looking forward to rediscovering my favorite albums. Expect some write-ups next week!

Ypsi Legacy for a Black Lotus

Another Magic blog. Non-magicians should probs skip it.

I spent the week deciding whether I should head to Saint Joe for the weekend or stick around town with little to do besides maybe hit a local legacy tournament. The tournament had a Black Lotus as first place with prizes dropping off quickly from there. 

1st Black Lotus ($1000)

2nd Underground Sea ($200)

3-4 Force of Will ($80)

5-8 Misty Rainforest ($50)

There was an entry fee of $40 bucks too so trying to make top 4 out 44 people to actually make a profit seemed like a low expected value. I was definitely leaning hard towards making my way towards the joe for the weekend and I called up some bros.

Kevin - "Yeah I'm going to be busy Friday night so I can't do FNM"

Eric - "There's not really anything happening this weekend. Come next weekend."

Welp alright, with Ian out of town I had to do something to keep my sanity and a good legacy tournament was pretty much it.

I ran storm. Goblins seemed as bad as always and I didn't feel like assembling RUG. Plus I had goldfished about 50 games over the past two weeks preparing for another tournament that I didn't go to. 

Main 16

4 Dark Ritual

4 Cabal Ritual

4 Lotus Petal

4 Lion's Eye Diamond

31

4 Brainstorm

4 Ponder

3 Preordain

4 Gitaxian Probe

38

4 Duress

3 Cabal Therapy

45

4 Infernal Tutor

1 Ad Nauseum

1 Past in Flames

1 Tendrils of Agony

60

2 Island

1 Swamp

2 Underground Sea

1 Volcanic Island

2 Gemstone Mine

4 Polluted Delta

3 Scalding Tarn

Sideboard

3 Chain of Vapor

3 Abrupt Decay

3 Massacre

3 Carpet of Flowers

1 Tropical Island

1 Karakas

1 Cabal Therapy

For anyone reading not familiar with the deck, basically you try to cast ten spells in a turn and kill them with Tendrils of Agony. It's all fast mana, card searching and a bit of discard for combo protection. Nothing too out of the ordinary in the list. I upped the number of Massacre in the sideboard since mono-white hate bears has been putting up good results recently and is pretty cheap to make.

Sorry if some rounds are a bit brief, I didn't take notes on this one.

Round 1

Sneak and show

Not much to say on this one. He didn't ever get his combo off after I stripped his hand with Gitaxian Probe into Cabal Therapy. 

1-0

Round 2 

Omnitell

Lost this one pretty quickly. I had a hard trouble assembling all the pieces I needed to go off. By the time I did he had double Force of Will and there really wasn't anything I could do. He didn't combo when he had the Dream Halls/Enter the Infinite kill with me without any cards in my hand. I asked him afterwards and he said it was risky to go for that. I suppose that's fine… but I had no cards in my hand and he'd win on the spot. Regardless, he drew whatever he wanted to draw and finished me off.

1-1

Round 3

Tin Fins

This is kind of a scary matchup since he's generally quicker than I am. I opened game one with a duress on his Shallow Grave while he had Griselbrand in the graveyard and from there his draws kind of floundered. He never drew another copy and I sculpted my hand to something that could go off. Game 2 I get a cabal therapy for two Entomb and he never really recovered.

2-1

Round 4

Reanimator

More Griselbrand. Game 1 he manages to stick Greasy onto the battlefield and I'm essentially forced to go off even though the odds are good he drew a Force of Will somewhere in 7 cards he just drew… but he doesn't have it and I play my ten spells. Game 2 he does a lot of nothing after I play some discard, he plays a Pithing Needle naming Lion's Eye Diamond… but Needle doesn't stop mana abilities and I go off with 3 LEDs.

3-1

Round 5 

Elves

This is a win and in for me since I could draw the next round. My opponent is undefeated at this point so that makes my tiebreakers all the better if I win. Game 1 He plays Llanowar Elves and passes. I duress him on my turn. He has a hand full of elves and I'm ready to off on the next turn knowing he can't stop me. On his turn 2 he draws and play Glimpse of Nature and proceeds to go off. 

Glimpse of Nature

Nettle Sentinel

Birchlore Rangers

Elves! Elves! Elves!

Natural Order for Craterhoof Behemoth

Attack for 25

Not really anything I could do about that.

Game 2 he still doesn't know what I'm on so he boards wrong and I get an easy combo after a discard spell.

Game 3 he now has all his combo hate in. I'm going off without knowing what's in his hand since I assume his disruption will be permanent based.

dark ritual

cabal ritual

cabal ritual

Lion's Eye Diamond

Infernal Tutor

Now here as soon I as I play the tutor he responds with Mindbreak Trap without giving me a chance to crack my Lion's Eye Diamond in response. I exile the tutor and he laments his mistake. I only have two lands in hand at the moment but they look to be useful as he leads his next turn with Thorn of Amethyst. Over the next coupled turns I play out my lands and play some cantrips clawing back into the game and end up drawing and casting Ad Nauseam with the previously uncracked Lion's Eye Diamond giving me my only black mana . I immediately flip over the one chain of vapor I boarded in and a bunch of rituals and tutors. I bounce the Thorn and combo out.

4-1

Round 6

Intentional Draw vs zoo

4-1-1

Top 8 

Round 1

Elves

Yup, rematch. Less interesting matches though. Game 1 I Gitaxian probe my opponent and he has two natural orders, a regal force, and craterhoof behemoth in his hand. Not great draws. My opponent jokes that his top copy is probably the one-of Progenitus. He draws and immediately shows me a Progenitus. That is pretty ridiculous and I combo off. Game 2 he doesn't have much going on and I win.

Round 2

Zoo

You don't see too much zoo in legacy any more and of lot of that is because of decks like mine. The game 1 match-up is just too good… of course I lose game 1 immediately. He just has way too much pressure and I fizzle during a desperation combo attempt. Game 2 He lands a Thalia, Guardian of Thraben and has a medium amount of pressure going but I cast Chain of Vapor on his Thalia end of turn and have window to combo out. Game 3 I cabal therapy a thalia out of his hand and he doesn't have anything to stop me from there.

Round 3 

Infect

Cool to see a brew in the finals. Game 1 I have a mediocre hand, his turn two involves Inkmoth Nexus and two copies of Invigorate for nine poison damage and I can't go off or stop the swing next turn. Game 2 I play some discard to slow him down and have enough time to combo without resistance. Game 3 I make him discard a Berserk and a Spell Pierce. He gets 4 poison on me. I'm left with a bunch of lotus petals and a LED in hand with him with an actual clock. I draw and cantrip into… Ad Nauseam! I cast it with two lotus petals up and 6 storm. Naturally I flip 3 dark rituals and a tendrils in the first 6 cards and finish the job.

1st! I can walk away with a Black Lotus or $1000 bucks cash. I take the money… I can't justify the cardboard. Sweet tournament, all good players but managed to play tight and walk away with two months rent.

TCGPlayer Maxpoint Invitational

MTG Blog! For non magic players, most of the jargon is sectioned off within the individual rounds.

While in Cleveland, Dano and I played more mtg tournaments at the local card store than I have at any other point in my life. We're talking at least one tournament a week here. Granted they weren't anything huge (4 rounds generally) but the players were at a good level of competitiveness. This lead me and Dano to be in prime fighting form for the MTG standard formats de jour and as such we both qualified to go to the TCGPlayer Maxpoint invitational in Indianapolis that year. But the year went on and Dano moved back to Saint Joe. My knowledge of the Standard format grew rusty as I stopped going to tournaments. The Championship happened to fall on a bad weekend and I ended up not going.

Flash forward a year, I was bouncing around the tcgplayer website and saw the Maxpoint championship for this year being advertised and out of curiosity I tweeted at them asking if I could use last years points to qualify this year and to my surprise I could. They would, however, expire next year so it was now or never. This year happened to be in Columbus. Unfortunately Dano couldn't make the trip but luckily Kevin was able to use his points and came in his place.

Kevin drove to Ann Arbor last Friday so we could carpool the rest of the way to Columbus but we made a couple stops around town first. Ate dinner at Red Hawk where Kevin said of the lamb burger "This is the best thing I've ever had on a bun."

Afterwards we made a stop over at The People's Food Co-op in Kerry town where I bought what I swear was my keys to tournament success: a giant bag of granola and a bunch of bananas. I would eat these all throughout the tournament Saturday and Sunday. I may be giving these bananas a lot of credit but I'm going to say without the energy I got throughout the day from them I definitely would have dropped another match. 

The drive to Columbus was uneventful and we made it to our Red Roof Inn just before 11pm. I sat on my bed and watched "Limitless" on cable. I got my bed ready by pulling the cigarette burned comforter off and found a stink bug hanging out between the sheets. Kevin checked his bed and found one too. I was fairly grossed out to say the least but I had crawl right back into bed once the fiend was washed down the drain. Playing magic on little sleep is not a recipe for success.

Tournament! [This is where the magic happens, feel free to skim/skip]

Standard Decklist:

1 Aetherling 2 Blood Baron of Vizkopa 1 Elspeth, Sun's Champion 4 Jace, Architect of Thought 4 Island 3 Plains 4 Godless Shrine 4 Hallowed Fountain 4 Temple of Deceit 4 Temple of Silence 4 Watery Grave 4 Detention Sphere 4 Azorius Charm 3 Dissolve 2 Hero's Downfall

4 Sphinx's Revelation 2 Divination 4 Supreme Verdict 2 Thoughtseize Sideboard 1 Pithing Needle 1 merciless eviction 2 Blood Baron of Vizkopa 1 Dark Betrayal 1 Doom Blade 4 Gainsay 2 Negate 1 Ultimate Price 2 Jace, Memory Adept

This list was recently used by one of the biggest pro magic players to top 8 two big events in a row. I like running blue decks and control is fun so I decided to run with it.

Modern: 

• 3 Blackcleave Cliffs
• 4 Copperline Gorge
• 4 Verdant Catacombs
• 1 Blood Crypt
• 1 Stomping Ground
• 2 Overgrown Tomb
• 1 Godless Shrine
• 1 Swamp
• 1 Mountain
• 1 Forest
• 1 Dryad Arbor
• 4 Demonic Dread
• 4 Violent Outburst
• 4 Beast Within
• 4 Fulminator Mage
• 4 Deadshot Minotaur
• 4 Monstrous Carabid
• 4 Street Wraith
• 4 Pale Recluse
• 2 Twisted Abomination
• 3 Jungle Weaver
• 3 Living End

SB:

4 Leyline of the void

4 ingot chewer

4 shriekmaw

3 Kitchen FInks

Now THIS is a fun deck. The idea is to fill your graveyard up with creatures by cycling them then cast a cascade spell and cascade into Living End to bring all your guys back into play and kill all their creatures at the same time.

There are 365 players today. I registered my decks and round one of nine began

Round #1 vs w/b/g Junk

My 1st round opponent was a quiet guy with a Goofy hat. When I say Goofy hat I mean it literally had a picture of Goofy on it. He was running a deck that looked like it was prepped for the control match. I saw Thoughtseize, Voice of Resurgence, Blood Baron and other good anti-control cards maindeck. Game 1 I resolved Blood Baron and he could not kill it with his removal suite. Game 2 the reverse happened. Game 3 went to time. I hate starting with a draw, it screw with tiebreakers and in this setting is almost as bad as a loss.

0-0-1

Round #2 vs Mono black

Killed him both rounds with blood barons he couldn't race or deal with. The card is not game over for the mono black player but it's certainly close to it. My maindeck is set up to hate on mono black players with 4 D Sphere maindeck and all 4 Blood Barons in the 75. This becomes a recurring theme for the day

1-0-1

Round #3 vs Mono Blue

Game 1 I got aggroed out with Thassa beating my face. I definitely sided wrong in this match. I didn't realize how aggressive the deck was even after losing to quick beats in the first game and sided out all my best anti-aggro cards. As a result I was taken out pretty quickly.

1-1-1

Now 1-1-1 is not a record worth writing home about. At this point I was feeling about ready to lose another match and call it quits for the day. Kevin at this point was 0-3. That glimmer of hope shone in my mind though, what if I win out? True, if I won the rest of my matches I'd still be guaranteed to make it to day 2. If I lost one I'd be about a 50/50 shot. Winning 6 rounds in a row is a tall order but I can't ignore the thought of what could be. I played on.

Round #4 vs Esper Control

My first mirror match of the day. A control mirror match is one of the most skill testing games of MTG you can have. The secret is to focus on making land drops and preventing them from letting key spells resolve. In this standard, those spells are Sphinx's Revelation, Jace and most importantly Aetherling. Once Aetherling hits the board it's impossible to get rid of if you play carefully. Game 1 I have decent keep against most decks but awful against control with only two lands. I stumble and lose game 1. Game 2 and 3 though I do all that good stuff above and pull the match out.

2-1-1

Round #5 vs Esper Control

Another mirror match. The two games we play go much like the last two of the previous round and aetherling kills him game 1 and 2. Afterwards he shows me his sideboard tech of Psychic Spiral. Now this was a good trick when Snapcaster Mage was a thing but these days it seems super conditional and ace just mills it away most of the time anyways. Seems iffy at best to me but I can't say I've tested it (or anything for that matter…)

3-1-1

Just like that the standard rounds for the day are over and we move on to modern. My record had improved but I'm still teetering on the edge. Kevin has gone 0-5 which requires a astonishing amount of bad luck to happen. He acknowledges his deck was a bit of an untested mess.

Round #6 vs Living End

Another another mirror match! The Living End mirror match is probably one of the most awkward games you can play. It's a delicate balance of who has more guys in the graveyard and who's going to cast living end first. Land destruction also rules supreme here since often the players fall onto the backup plan of cast 6 mana 4/5s.  Game one he has a huge advantage on creatures in the yard to the point where I stop cycling guys and just start casting them. He living ends on his turn to bring his guys back and kill off mine but I respond with a living end of my end to reverse all that and kill him on the backswing. Game 2 I start with leyline of the void out, he starts with 2. I go on an all out land destruction plan while he casts Beast Within on my leyline. He cycles some more guys and casts living end. Meanwhile I put out another leyline and living end myself, exiling all his guys. Now I've sandbagged guys since the start of the same so I start casting last pick draft commons and take a commanding board presence to win the match

4-1-1

Round #7 vs Burn

My opponent has had a similar record to me all day and has thus sat nearby throughout the tournament. He is dressed like Goku for no discernible reason and seems to shout a lot. As I talked to him while shuffling his deck he stares blankly at me. When I give it back he asks me to shuffle it again and look more away from it… whatever. Game 1 he plays some burn spells, enough to bring me to six. 

"Cast rift bolt, kill you?"

"uhhhh, that puts me to 6"

"I've got you at 3. You should be dead."

"JUDGE!"

I proceed to count up all the damage three times for him over the course of the game.

"Well I wouldn't have written it down if I didn't have a reason for it" 

Well apparently he did and the judge sides with me. He then topdecks a burn spell and kills me, exciting. Game 2 I execute my usual game plan and he can't deal with it. Game 3 I keep a hand with decent cyclers and a pair of Kitchen Finks. He plays Grafdiggers Cage which he seems to have mulled to. Hilariously the card doesn't stop Living End at all. The creatures enter the battlefield from exile, not from the graveyard. After clogging the ground with finks and letting them die (cage does stop them from persisting) I cascade to living end and he reads it in about 3 times.

5-1-1

Round #8 vs Merfolk

This was probably my most fun match of the day. I was playing an OSU student was a good player and a good guy to talk to. A quick story he told

"I was outside smoking and some girls walked in and out and asked me what was happening in there. I said it was a card game called Magic the gathering. The said 'Oh… is it only for guys?'"

Me and Kevin busted up at that. 

Game 1 I lose to tempo. Too many lords too fast

Game 2 I Ingot Chewer his vial and he never quite recovers

Game 3 We're down to the wire. I've got a lot of guys out but he's got blockers and potentially lethal with Iords and islandwalk. Tidebinder mage is locking down a guy and killing it is my path to victory. Luckily I have Shriekmaw. My opponent is a very gracious loser and while definitely looked a little flabbergasted at Shriekmaw agrees that we played 3 very good games.

6-1-1

Round #9 vs Merfolk

At this point if I win I'm a lock for day two and prizes. As I mentioned before a loss gives me a 50/50 shot. I'm out tempted game 1 and he takes it. Game 2 I get the punt of the day. He has one guy left out and if he doesn't block I can Violent Outburst to get in surprise lethal damage. He doesn't block and I go to tap my mana and slam my card… My only red source has spreading seas attached to it. I have some outs but I don't hit them, he takes the match.

6-2-1

Now I'm nervous and annoyed I made what could be a very costly mistake. I wait patiently for end of day 1 standings. Up they go and I look hastily for my name. Top 64 makes it. I don't see me. I"m not even on this list. Oh wait there I am… #58 Bam! Day 2

Kevin and I grab Crapplebees for dinner and discuss some matches. He's been at beer o'clock for a while after dropping and meeting up with a friend of ours earlier. Again I'd like to thank Bananas and Granola for all their hard work but it's time for some microwaved boneless chicken wings. Fall asleep early after catching some Boxing and Men in Black 2 on TV. 

Day 2

Round #10 vs B/G

We're back to standard and I'm playing some rude guy. I ask to cut his deck and says I did  already and vaguely insults my awareness. I have definitely not cut his deck and stare him down till he hands it over. I beat well enough. He complains about top decks afterwards, the usual.

7-2-1

Round #11 vs Esper control

This guy says definitely less than 10 words to me that weren't related to the match at hand. I don't really have any notes on this one. Just Aetherling beats from both of us to finish games. He gets one game, I get two.

8-2-1

Round #12 vs Splintertwin Tempo

And we're back to modern. This was a match I don't feel bad about losing. There was no point during it when I actually stood I chance of winning. His deck ran a ton of counterspells main and even more postboard. Add in delver + bolt + snapcaster for pressure and that's not really a match-up living end could beat, at least in this particular match.

8-3-1

Round #13 vs Affinity

This is the round I am most annoyed at myself for. He wins game 1, I win game 2 with sideboarded Ingot Chewers. Game 3 goes to time and I'm going to get two turns to attack. Luckily on his turn I've cast living end to wrath his board and am bringing back 6 guys including (Chewer) to finish him off. I responded to a arcbound ravager so that he wouldn't be able to sac all his guys in response to the living end and while I'm picking all my guys from the yard I say "Ravager will resolve" …and just like that I've missed my ETB triggers. Chewer would have killed Vault skirge, but instead he sacs his entire board with ravager and loads he lifelinker up with +1/+1 counters. He literally could not win the game but he will survive through the end of the five turns. Draw

8-3-2

This one stung the most. The win was there and I let it go due to a quick slip of the tongue. But I said it and there's no going back. Magic is a careful game at a high level, language is specific and a wrong word can cost you a match.

Round #14 vs Affinity

I get a game loss round for drawing extra cards since I regular cycle twisted abomination when it actually has swampcycling. I still manage to take the match after my opponent counters demonic dread instead of Living End.

9-3-2

AFTERMATH

Top 64 wins $200 and Top 32 gets $350. I'm a good deal off from anything higher than that but once again I'm about 50/50 to make top 32. Standings go up… #34 shit. Drawing Round 13 match made the difference.

So now I've covered the cost of the trip and made a little extra on top. It feels damn good to make Day 2 of an event and win actual money (I had to fill out a W2, weird.) All of that seems even better when I think about the fact that it was an invitational and I didn't play a bad player either day. I would be lying if I didn't say I have a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. I don't get super competitive about most things but magic is a notable exception. In casual magic I like to have fun, in tournaments I want to win. I've thought a bunch about where magic fits into my life, how seriously do I really take this card game? In my head I had a feeling had I walked away from this tournament X-3 drop I might not have returned to anything larger than a local tournament. If I can't win at a higher level then should I be bothering with big tournaments? Would I even have fun at them if I can't compete? These tournaments are large time and money sinks and if I can't hold my own then there's not really a point to attending. 

But here I am at a 365 person invitational tournament. These may not necessarily be players that can sling cardboard at a national level but to say probably most of the best in the midwest doesn't seem like an exaggeration. I'm playing toe-to-toe with these players and not only that but I'm beating most of them. Now I had some luck go my way, but I also had some go against me and I played good tight magic over both days.

So back to the sour taste. Placing high is great but it's not winning. Of my three losses and two draws, had I played right I probably would have won two of those games and at least given myself a fighting chance in another one. Once we do that we're talking at least top 16 with nothing to regret playwise. I made 3 mistakes that cost me matches. As a human, over the course of 14 hours it's understandable that I make 3 mistakes but as a competitor I need to take these mistakes to heart. I need to learn from them to do better at the next level. I will keep doing large tournaments for the fun of competition and continue to improve my play.

I've long though of myself as casual/competitive player. Casual with friends and Competitive at any kind of event. I've thought about dropping the competitive part of that many times but this weekend has cemented it back in there. It's great when all the players have a good time and casual games are perfect for that. Somedays, though, all I want is to beat other people at a card game.

Guess this girl should leave OKCupid then