Religion

Our family has always been secular. My mother was Catholic, but practiced less and less as her marriage furthered. My dad was also raised in home without God. So if I was to attribute my lack of faith to anybody it would be my grandparents.

My grandma was a practicing Catholic and grandfather was a card carrying Latter Day Saint. Then love happens. Catholicism said non-Catholics went to hell and Mormonism said the same of non-Mormons. So as my Grandparents say, "When both of our religions said the other was going to hell, it just didn't feel right." And thus religion faded from their lives.

I hate to blame my Atheism on my parentage but they do carry a certain influence. But of course there is more to my nonbelief. It's not a rejection, it's a simple lack of feeling. I have no reason to believe there is a God. I have never felt a presence or influence from an otherworldly being, so why would I believe there is one? Sometimes as a child I would make small prayers: for toys, for cookies, for more TV. But even when these prayers came true they didn't feel "answered." It was always either random chance or the kindness of others.

Of course in this reasoning I am alluding mainly to a Christian god, one that is supposed to intervene in daily lives and answer prayers. If there is an uncaring creator is there any we should worship such a being? I won't make any claims now about such a God since that is a much more open topic.

My girlfriend has always been deeply religious and for the moment we agree to disagree. But sometimes our circumstances are hard to ignore. During the last weekend her and my father debated:
"So you believe that all non-Christians are going to hell? That seems harsh"
"Well, the truth hurts."

Yes it certainly does.

All My Friends

"All My Friends" is the title of my favorite LCD Soundsystem song. I've shared it with other people but most tend to dismiss it when they tire of the initial piano riff. However, the riff is a metaphor what the singer is talking about. I won't get too much into it now but this is the line in the song that always hits home for me:

"You spend the first five years trying to get with the plan, and the next five years trying to be with your friends again."

I talked to Caitlin online briefly today and she said "I've already sort of started mourning the end of ham, so this will be one last hurrah." Is it over already? My friends have been drifting a lot recently and not just temporarily. Cong is in Korea for a year, Pranav is in India for 2 years, Dano has moved to Cleveland, and Ian's in NC indefinitely. But that's just the people who are already gone. I foresee spouses and jobs in faraway lands for many of us.

I guess we're at the end of the first five years. Let's try to end up where we want to be.