The Bible: When Animals Attack!

Just finished up Samuel 2 and Kings 1 & 2. For those unfamiliar, these books tend to focus on David and Solomon's rule over the nation of Israel. Kings goes on to describe the rule of all kings of Israel/Judah up until Nebuchadnezzer of Babylon conquers the area and sends the jews into exile. The books are mostly filled with wars against Syria, Egypt, and every other surrounding area you can think of. Sometimes when not at war against another nation they're at war with themselves. All in all the whole thing was fairly ridiculous. It comes off like a history text that people stuffed the LORD into. Oh the the Israelites got conquered? They must have pissed off God. They got back their land? The king must have done some serious Yahweh ass kissing. The prophets Elisha and Elijah were the most interesting part to me. They had a little more mystique than the list of kings.

I'm about a quarter of the way through now and I'm going to skip Chronicles since it looks like it's basically a clip show. I guess I'll be checking out Ezra next

Favorite Quotes:

2 Kings 17:25

"When they first lived there, they did not worship the Lord; so he sent lions among them and they killed some of the people."

1 Kings 20:35

"By the word of the Lord one of the sons of the prophets said to his companion, “Strike me with your weapon,” but the man refused.

So the prophet said, “Because you have not obeyed the Lord, as soon as you leave me a lion will kill you.” And after the man went away, a lion found him and killed him."

2 Kings 2:23-24

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys."