They've just tried out a new premium roast and they want to tell you all about it. They claim to be an aficionado but they really just go to Bigby every day. The drink they just ordered has about five different adjectives in front of it. They are the Coffee Douche.
Most often spotted in coffee shop with a laptop for hours on end, but can also be seen just about everywhere with a to-go coffee cup glued to their hand. When you have conversation with them they'll try to tell you all about the coffee stuck in their grip. "oh yes it's an Iced Carmel Mocha, very good but I think the Hazelnut Mint Mocha Mocha is a better roast." Barf, I don't tell people about every milkshake I've ever ordered because I assume they don't give a shit.
So Coffee Douche, enjoy your premium blend. I guess you’ll be taking it black because I can see you’ve already creamed yourself.
Dude, don't be hating on Biggby.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't think coffee douches drink mochas. Because different tasting mochas (mint vs caramel etc) are all really different tasting and their name implies the taste and I don't even think there is anyone that cares about the roast of a mocha, if that even is a real thing.
I think coffee douches focus more on regular coffee and some of those other things that aren't mochas I can never remember the name of.
I'm sorry this blog post didn't live up to your standards Drew. I will now commit Seppuku.
ReplyDeleteI lol'd. Also apparently Drew is a closet Coffee douche.
ReplyDelete